Act Fourteen: The Great Escape!
Location: USS Reprisal and the MiniSub

Cut to: minisub

Miklos: Alright, I found it, I found it!

The minisub drops away, and starts buggering off, but then gives a shudder.

Cut to: The sharks being released from the submarine.

Cut to: The minisub

DQ3: Are you sure you know how to drive this thing?
Miklos: Its uh, it's uh.
DQ3: It's like riding a bike?
Mikos: Please don't give me the 'like riding a bike' speech! I hate that!

And, like, you were driving one less than a day ago, so.

DQ3: Sorry.
Miklos: Sorry for over reacting, it's just when I was in high school my father

Is this the time for anecdotes about your childhood?! Really?!

Robin: Whoa, no, Mikos, that's way too much info for me right now.

Cut to: Uss Reprisal's odd minisub bay.

Dr Combs: What the hell are you doing? You're supposed to seal that doorway now!
Foster Identical looking marine: Sorry sir it seems to have been damaged!
Dr Combs (on radio): Captain, the main access door has been damaged, it cannot be sealed.

The captain waddles to a sailor.

Captain: Gimme schematic. Highlight the lab access. GO! NOW! Seal at sewen. Close twench six. Seal twench six now!

Cut to the minisub bay

Dr Combs: Cut these zorb shields, move it, now now now!

Combs and the marines hold on to the ceiling whilst a marine shuts the door. Combs rushes to the door and finds it locked.

Dr Combs: Kerry!
Foster Kerry: grnnng!
Dr Combs: Captain! This is Doctor Combs! They seal us in!
Captain: I guess you schluekerryighly motivated then, seal that door, right?
Dr Combs: There is no way we can seal that door in three minutes!
Captain: Motiwation doctor! Motive! Ation!

Yeah, shouting at impossible things does tend to work.

Combs goes back to holding onto the ceiling.

Dr Combs: Owieow dead! Come on!

Cut to: The minisub

Miklos pulls up a datafile, identifying one of the sharks as being called 'Neptune's Fire'

because fire, that works underwater right?

Miklos: Look at this!
Robin: I guess that's a name for the sharks that are near by.
Miklos: I don't, I don't see anything.
DQ3: Try the sonar.

Cut to: USS Reprisal

Captain: Detactable tinkingbab.
Flunky: Yessir, opening the activation switch now.

Cut to: evil lab

Doctor Combs sits watching the sharks through the big window.

The sharks that were released and were outside a few moments ago.

Kelly: Doctor, what are you doing?
Dr Combs: Getting a front row seat for the apocalypse.

Cut to: the control room.

Flunky: Sir, the switch is hot, I need the activation code.
Captain: Alpha zebrew seven, nine nine thwee two.
Flunky: Sir, negative response!
Captain: Oh, fuck, jesus christ, fuck, christ, jesus!

The captain grabs a radio

Captain: Doctor Combs are you there?
Dr Combs: I'm here.
Captain: The lab detach switch is dead!
Dr Combs: Oh captain, captain captain. It appears the good doctor, who, by the way, is laying a few feet from me, quite dead, wanted to make sure, if he ever decided to terminate this program, he would destroy everything.

When looking death in the face, convoluted sentences with more commas than verbs IS the best way to go.

Dr Combs: The hard wires have been severed, captain, cut. So, captain, welcome to the bottom of the ocean.
Captain: Blow aw bawast! Blow aw bawast now!

The giant window breaks, well explodes, the marines squeak and get flooded and we see the submarine heading down.

Cut to: the control room

Captain: Blow aw bawast! Now!
Flunky: All ballast blown, we're too heavy!

Blowing ballast consists of forcing water out of the ballast tanks and replacing it with compressed air. Why, then, would the Reprisal look uncannily like it's blowing out air when 'bwowing bawast'?

Captain: Full reversal on screw down!
Flunky: We're in a hundred percent screw reverse! But fortune fabric tunty! We're too heavy sir!
Captain: Bawast! Godamn it!
Flunky: Captain, do I launch the buoy, sir?!

Yes, I have also seen the Abyss!

Captain: Dar!
Flunky: Sir!
Lt. Stew: Captain, we have to launch the bouy!

Huh? When did he get back?!

Flunky: Sir!
Lt. Stew: Launch the bouy, sailor!
Flunky: Five thousand two hundred feet! Five thousand four hundred feet!
Lt. Stew: Attention all crew, initiate evacuation procedures!

What, a MILE underwater?! Which evacuation method are we talking about because the only one that could happen is the 'bowels evacuated, sir!' kind. This depth is, by the way, seven times deeper than an Ohio can actually handle.

Lt. Stew: Initiate evacuation procedures now! Evacuate the bridge, evacuate the bridge! Captain! Pleegrow!
Captain: Bar! Gippick! Hote! Dar!

No, really, I listened to this like a dozen times, and this is the most sense I got. I have no idea what the line was meant to be, but he says Bar! Gippick! Hote! Dar!


Act Thirteen: Bomb? What bomb?

Act Fifteen: Adrift on a Sea of Sharks