Act Eight: The Bigger Submarine
Location: A MiniSub, then the Bigger Sub.

Cut to a mini-sub pootling through the ocean. Then two hours later in the transfer station, where our brave team are asleep. Then flashbacks to DQ2 being dragged away. Then our plucky plucks awaken inside the minisub as it approaches a bigger sub.

DQ3: Hey, where are we?
Goon1: Shut up!
Miklos: Hey, what?
DQ3: Don't ask!
Robin: Where the hell are we?
DQ3: I dunno, but we're not dead, cos they aren't angels!

The team gets loaded on board the submarine, which has very odd walls, and are escorted down a corridor by marines.

Robin: Get your fucking hands off me!

The marines promptly point guns.

DQ3: OK, lay off the caffeine boys, lets just calm down, Robin, for once will you please keep your, uh, mouth shut?
Robin: Fine.
Goon: That's cool.
DQ3: Everything's cool.
Miklos: You're a very angry man!

They get thrown into a brig.

Of course, one now has to point out that submarines don't have corridors, nor do they have brigs. Or minisubs either. Even if they did, this brig is made from thermal board and duct tape.

Robin crashes on a bunk.

Miklos: Comfortable? I'll just sit over here.

Miklos sits on the toilet.

Robin: Well, out of the frying pan into the fire.
Miklos: Well, at least we're still alive!
Robin: Yeah, for how long?
Miklos: What's that sposed to mean?
Robin: Do you know of a sub in the Navy register that even comes close to this one?
Miklos: No. So what?
DQ3: Because we're on a multi-billion dollar submarine that's designed for who knows what.
Robin: What did you think they were going to do, make us sign a confidentiality agreement, drop us in Miami and say 'please don't talk'?
Miklos: Relax you two, the United State military does not execute anyone for security reasons.
DQ3: Really? Tell that to my dead father!
Miklos: Yeah, well, that was a long time ago.

Up until this point, DQ3 has been saying it was the CIA that killed his father. Now, the CIA is an intelligence agency, not part of the military. Whether or not they have killed people for 'security issues' is a whole interesting area on its own. Most sources would suggest that the CIA has been involved in planning assassinations, of amongst others, Saddam Hussein, but there is no real evidence that they have actually performed such an act at any time. There is no real suggestion that CIA have killed any American for reasons of national security, but there is a lot of evidence that there are procedures in place to deal with such people through normal law. Although the US has no official secrets act, the espionage act functions in much the same way, and permits criminal trials to be conducted in a secret fashion, wherein the events of the trial are themselves considered to be secrets. Conviction under these circumstances usually means life imprisonment - there have been no known cases where such a trial has resulted in the death penalty since World War 2. Conspiracy theorists will no doubt feel that they have done so many times, but conspiracy theorists are largely insane and never have any real evidence to back up their paranoid theories, so are best ignored.

The issue of the submarine is a fascinating one, The implication here is that the US Navy have built a large (Robin later suggests this is a modified Ohio class boat) submarine which no one knows about, to do special research. This is, frankly, crap. There have been special research submarines before, the Parche for example is known to have been built specifically for interesting technical espionage missions, and have a ton of weird and wonderful gadgets to do interesting things. What those things are are still secret, but the existence of the submarine itself is not. Submarines are very big, can only be built in a few places, and involve tens of thousands of people in construction - the existence of the boat cannot be a secret, even if it's role and duties may be later.

Robin: hey, c'mon guys, we've got to work together if we're going to get out of here.

Cut to the bridge, which looks nothing like a real submarine bridge at all, but, hey ho.

Commander Chap: Sir, they're retrieved three persons from the station.
Captain: On whose authowity? Wecovery was wery specific.
Commander Chap: All three were unconscious, sir, they didn't have specific information.
Captain: Glad to see your intel is so fine tuned commander.
Commander Chap: Sorry, sir, I wasn't in charge of the operation.
Captain: Has anyone spoken to them?
Commander Chap: No, sir, all three are in a holding cell.
Captain: Good. Commander, has anyone told the doctor who was aboard the station?
Commander Chap: He said nothing, however, we do know he and Somerville were in contact before.
Captain: CIA welics, think they can walk on water. Any twansmissions from Somerwille give them any indications he was aboard the sub?
Commander Chap: I don't believe so sir, no.
Captain: OK, tell Foster I'll meet him in the lab.
Commander Chap: Have Foster meet the Captain in the lab, access area, immediately.

Cut to the lab, where there are a whole bunch of catwalks over tanks of water, with no rails or anything which probably will be important later.

Dr Foreign: We're not seeing a pattern, it has been transient since we brought them online.
Dr Old: You mean since we let them out of the cage.
Dr Foreign: In seven years of tests we have never had control failures.
Dr Old: Control failures? They are attacking targets without orders. Doctor, you were brought onto this project to supervise the online tests, and since then we have had nothing but failures.
Dr Foreign: I understand your irritation, but I believe it's just a matter of time until we solve the glitch.
Dr Old: Glitch? Did you say glitch? This glitch has killed over two hundred and eighty people, on four ships and submarines.

DQ2 opens a hatch to reveal, shockingly, five white sharks swimming about in their tank.

Dr Old: Maybe you should become familiar with the words 'congressional investigation'. Solve the problem!

Cut to the brig. Robin finds a suitably human sized ventilator panel, and opens it.

Miklos: Are you crazy?!
DQ3: Think we're going to sit and wait until someone decides to execute us?

Robin comfortable sets off down the vents, which are big enough to literally walk in, whilst DQ3 arranges some pillows.

Miklos: What are you doing?
DQ3: Back up.

Foster and the Captain arrives at the Back Up Operations room, rather than the lab as they said earlier.

Captain: Clear the room. Doctor give you the orders to wescue the surwivors fwom the twansfer station?
Foster: Sir those orders came directly from headquarters.

Without the Captain being aware of them?

Commander Chap knocks on the door and comes through.

Captain: Wait outside, major.
Commander Chap: We checked the records and found three deleted messages between Somerville and the Doctor.
Captain: All wight, get wid of them.
Commander Chap: Sir?
Captain: You heard me.
Commander Chap: That's not my job, sir.
Captain: S'why I'm tellin you to tell Foster after I leave.

The Captain steps out.

Captain: Step inside Major, the man wants to speak with you.
Commander Chap: Would you shut the door?

Cut to corridor, Robin drops down from a huge ventilator duct in front of a marine. Thinking quickly, she bends over to show off her cleavage.

Robin: I think I broke a rib!

Robin then karate chops and kicks the marine into submission in short order, then grabs his pistol, and heads into Zone 46.

Cut to Foster walking along another corridor. He gives another marine a nod, who promptly screws a silencer onto his pistol.

Really? We're carrying silencers now? For what purpose were they intended?

Foster: Good news! I've been ordered to escort you off the submarine!
Miklos: Really? Can I ask you how, major?
Foster: Uh, minisub's going to dock with us, take you to the surface, we'll hook up with a Coast Guard cutter, get you to shore.
Miklos: Oh really?
Foster: Where's the woman?
DQ3: Sick, out like a light.
Foster: Right, why don't you get up against the wall for me?

Robin arrives outside the cell.

Robin: Drop your guns!

The two marines outside turn round, so she shoots them, with her eyes closed to get really good aim. DQ3 and Foster start fighting.

DQ3: Gah, Miklos!

Miklos hits Foster with a flimsy chair, making him fall over. DQ3 and Miklos leave.

DQ3: Jeez, did you have to kill 'em?
Robin: Look in his hands!
Miklos: Silencers aren't marine issue!

Technically this isn't true, silencers, or suppressors are issued to marine units when needed, though only to SOC units and on very unusual circumstances. Militarily speaking silencers are more trouble than they're worth - it will almost always be better to have the loud bangs than to lose the bullet speed and accuracy.

Miklos: These guys were here to kill us! We've got to get out of here, lets go!

The trio move through a series of bizarrely empty rooms until stopping in one with lots of gas masks.

Act Seven: Having Fun on the Station

Act Nine: The Tits of Idiocy