This one has me baffled beyond measure. I've passed it on to several friends to see if they could get any more sanity out of it than I could to no avail. One student of psychology suggested that the writer seemed to be retarded and possibly dangerously psychotic. The third email I received no less than four times after I had the temerity to go away between friday evening and sunday afternoon. As an addendum these keep on coming, I may be getting a lot of these.
now the end is near
This guy is clearly so far out of his tree he's never going to be able to find his stash of nuts again.
From: Laurie McCall (AKA Hayner McCloud)
Dear Requests@colonialchrome.co.uk, I would like to complement you the on the ship’s you drew up for the site. They look awesome. I have a request I would like you to do draw up a Dash Rendar’s ‘b’ Scale Yt-2400 freighter deck plan and the outside of the Dash Rendar’s ‘b’ Scale Yt-2400 freighter with the same exact sensor dish or satellite dish that the millennium falcon has, why you ask? Well I am completely blind and as a resolute cant’t see out of my eye’s so I can’t do this by myself so could you please draw this up for me and my nephew. Me and my nephew want you to add a concealed retractiable laser cannon to the ship and show it on the deck plan and please point it out. If you don’t want to do this for us I understand. Oh in the beginning I forgot to mention that my nephew want’s to say your drawings are nice. (oh my nephew is only five years only.) We would like the ship also to have two concussion missile launchers where the cargo hold is and point out please, large secret cargo hold somewhere in the deck plan please point it out, cloaking device in the deckplan somewhere please point it out, and me and my nephew would also like a sensor jammer added in the deck plan please point it out. Like said please do this for a completely blind man and his nephew, but if you don’t want to do this for me and my nephew you don’t have to. If you do though me and my nephew would like the ship to be named The Shadow Weaver, the outside of the ship to be completely grey, except for the cockpit glass. Oh I almost forgot, me and my nephew also would like a medical bay add to the ship deck plan and pointed out please, but that’s only if there’s room after the concussion missile addition.
Thanks for your kind words.
Let me get this straight; you would like to request a YT-2400 B scale with;
A FabriTech Mark VII RecTenna
A FabriTech Mark VII RecTenna
A large secret cargo hold
A medical bay
7: A cloaking device
I have but few guidelines on requests, the relevant one to this discussion is that I only do requests for ships that I would be comfortable with in my campaign. That is to say if I don't think the design is credible I won't do it. This rig you have detailed is fine right up until the medical bay and the cloaking device. put simply I will NOT do a ship with a cloaking device under any conceivable circumstances and I would have to have an exceedingly good reason before I put in any kind of medical bay.
If you would address the points I have raised and would be happy with the constraints I have imposed and still want to request this vessel, then I could probably have a roll out of the final design around christmas.
Dear Admiral I understand the reasons completely why the medical bay would cause problems, but thought I mentioned that some of this stuff was optional but I see now that I did not mention that. I understand the problem with putting In the medicial bay and the cloaking device Me and my nephew have spent hours trying to decide where to put the medical bay and cloaking device,but can't decide where to put a medical bay. If the medicial bay will cause a really big problem me and my nephew agree that you are to not put in the medical bay. Me and my nephew have agreed also that you are to not put in the cloaking device. But we understand that you need a specific place to put the secret cargo hold. I am typing this on my nephew commuter he's pointing the letters out I say I need to type he's going to decide where to put the secret cargo hold. Mean while I am going to make a point that I did not mention last time I emailed you. First of all I forgot to mention this, but if you can find any cloaking device to put in someplace in the ship Please let us know but like I said we have also agreed that if you can't find any cloaking device that can be put on the ship in a place of your chosing you are to not put in the cloaking device, but that's only if it will cause as many problems as you said and there is no place on the ship that you could chose that would fit it. My nephew has decided that if there are concussion missile launchers under the cockpit do not put and weapons were the cargo hold is. My nephew you has pointed tout that he would like the secret cargo hold in the hall way that goes around the turret gunwell/ladder, but in a place of your chosing in the hall way around the gunwell. The Concealed retractible laser cannon will put in a place of your chosing as well. But the senor jammer any where you like. Oh nasd the reason asked for a cloaking device is me and my nephew know there is a cloaking device on the millinium falcon. My nephew and I would like to ask if the fabrictech Mark VII RecTenna, is the sattlite dish I mentioned. If you have any problems with anything I have said I would advices you to contact me right away but please send it to email@example.com right away.
Now I have
a some request for you on the side for you. My nephew you has many different
ideas for modifications for some of your cursers and unque starships.My
nephew you helped me with the ideas I have for customizing the ship to
my own needs. My nepehew would like to have you modify a ship to his need's.
I can tell you that me and my nephew agree that you may show all of our
ideas in ships on your sight. We would like to be addressed as the McCloud
Wisards Design/fleet systems if you decide to show our ideas for some
of your ships and the yt-2400 named shadow weaver and say that it was
McCloud Wisard Seniar Systems/Fleet sytems ideas and they designed it
with your help. We want you to say we asked to and help us if you show
our ideas. If you show our designs and the yt 2400 freight on your site,
the allow the leaders of the McCloud Wisards Seniar Design/Fleet systems
you are now offered an official membership of the McCloud family. I am
Hayner McCloud and my nephew is Seifer McCloud and we are now accepting
you as one of our honorary family members, and you will be called onto
make several...... modifications to some ships we have chosen from your
sight, and to add the modifications and you will get as much of the credit
for the modifications as we do. But you have the finally say on wether
you want to be a member of the mcCloud family and the invitation to join
the McCloud family is a great honor many would except it, but we only
offer it to some of the most highly respected ship designers in our eyes.
It is also your Choice to do the contracts with us we offer. If you don't
want to be a member that's fine with us. On the condition that our commany's
will be friends. Oh and we have not created a site, because our ideas
classified top secret ideas that the McCloud wizard Seniar Design/fleet
systems, only give to those who are ally's and friends in our eyes. Oh
If you don't join or Friends. Now the Hayner McCloud and Seifer mcCloud
of the McCloud wizards Seniar Design/Fleet Systems would like you to show
all of the ides we have for the ships we have chosen form your sight and
to show the Yt 2400 freigher we have asked to be modified and it's name
the shadow weaver to be shown on your sight but like I said even if you
dotn accept our invition you will still be aloud to design ship's for
us.If you have anymore questions or problems or suggestions we would like
to hear it.
I assume you got my message and I wanted to tell you that we a are not just offering membership in the mcCloud family just because you’re a great ship design, invited you to join the family which would make you have a say on witch ships we modify from your sight and to show where friends I am contacting from our secret headquarters. To tell you that the ship needs to be finalized at Christmas time. Or we could lose a lot of our business opportunities. I understand it will take time but go as efficient, orderly, and as accrete as possibly.
From , the McCloud wizards Seniar Design/Fleet Systems Leaders,
and Seifer McCloud.
I have attempted
to decipher your last email, and have found it almost impossible to
do so. Let me be frank, here, as it may save a great deal of time.
Just to let you know I am a high school student you moron and would like to say if your getting paid that much for ship designs then you need to go back to pre-school. Further more I would never ever steal any of your designs I said I would do the designs with your damn permission if you know how to read what it says in the damn paragraph and regret to inform I did not type in any information on anything in the site you have saying I had to pay for this so you can’t demand money and payment for this when I did not fucking put info in a page that said I have to pat and you never put the page in ADMIRAL!!!!!!!!!!! SO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time around. LoL! And you can’t sue me or threaten me in any way. Rolling on the floor with laughter. I can’t even afford that I should say something total outrages right now that includes a lot of curse words. I can tell you that my business is secret no one knows about it except for the members of this company. We a real business and you should learn to respect our business we just want this ship done and we chose you and you lol at us well couldn’t expect much from someone who doesn’t’ understand what it’s like to be poor at all almost never being able to afford stuff Hmph remind me to tell you why how we even managed to by house or car or computer or anything for that matter we sell stuff to people that we buy and make even more money by ripping them off and telling them there are no refunds. We are lucky even to get 50 bucks and I am blind and I am in high school already and every in my family has done this ripping people off and saying refunds were lucky to get 50 bucks and my great,great,great grandfather started it so we are lucky and right know we need all of our money and we can’t afford a new car or what your demanding well if your. I don’t appreciate any of this at all so I am cutting to the chase and ending this you won’t be getting any deals if you don’t’ learn that this is no page in your website asking for a credit card number at all so you will have to do this for free or be some one who need’s a life and don’t worry I will be happy to tell you that i would be using these designs with your damn permission as I mentioned. And you’re a fool if you think the millennium falcon does not have a cloaking device because it does but since I can not convince you I see I was foolish even to think I could believe that you would be helpful in anyway to me or my family to help us design ships. I will say good day and I hope you realize that ripping off some one who can no longer afford what you ask is a crime and make’s you the worst person on earth good day I hope you learn to get life you will be blocked off my mail’s list if you continue to demand this money and I said I would ask for your damn permission to modifies your ship’s witch tick’s me off that you think I am stealing your designs first of all you damn Admiral the idea to put a senor jammer, retractable laser cannon, and a radar dish on the Yt-2400 freighter was mine. So I should just so you can go cry home like a cry baby. I will also block you off if you continue to insult my family.
From, McCloud Wizards Senior design/fleet systems,
and Hayner McCloud.
P.S I am not being rude I am just stating a damn fact.
me to say how entertaining I find your capacious insanity.
|I don’t recall
bossing you around, or demanding things, at all
|YOU DO NO HAVE MY PERMISSION SHOW ANY SORT OF PORNAGRAPH ON ANY SIGHT OR EVEN SHOW, ME DOING IT WITH A GUY AND GIRL ON A BED ON ANY SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL! ROFL|
I am a sophomore in high school and no one every believes me no matter what I do so go to hell
Point 1: It is far outside my purview to remind you of your previous communiques. Nor is it within that purview to recommend you to seek physcological advice for your memory loss.
Point 2: It wasn't my intention to do so, but if you would care to make such evidence of you 'doing it' with a guy (and a girl, sorry, sleight omission) then perhaps I could host if for you. On the other hand since you and I both know that the closest you've come to it is whacking off to the Seers catalogue perhaps this would be better left until you've actually grown your own set of genitals?
Point 3: I believe you. I really do. I am deeply concerned about you.
LoL rofl, I am sane I am sorry to say but I can be demented some time’s I read the article you put on your site I realize how much of an asshole I”ve been to you I am sorry but I was rofl and lol so ahrd at the thing on your site you put on about my email I I am dieing of laughter over here about! Lo! Rofl! Oh that was good but serieslly! I only am not paying because what you ask for several reasons.
one page asking for credit card number asked for on a page.
Dear Admiral, I trust you got our message . I am contacting you from our secret headquarters. To tell you that we need the Yt-2400 Freighter done by Christmas. If we don’t have it done well then I understand. I am here to say we would like to talk to you about some ships we would likie to midi fie some ships on your site to our specifications and we also would like you to do a Sith Infltrator Courer for us that was a request from my nephew.